I just put on my onesie and made almond biscotti tea.
I am in heaven.
I dont want sex, i want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my.
1. Stop faking your fucking orgasms. Society already tells young men that they run the fucking universe - if they can’t turn your cunt into a shooting star then for god’s sake, let them know about it.
2. Once you’ve stopped faking your fucking orgasms, use this newfound honesty throughout the rest of your life - stop ordering coffee you don’t actually like; stop sitting at a desk and allowing people to treat you like shit in the hopes that a meek attitude will earn you a promotion (it won’t); stop telling people they can finish your food when you’re not actually done yet. These may seem petty, but they add up, just like every orgasm you didn’t actually get to have.
3. If you wanna dance all night, dance all fucking night. Dance all night even if you have work in the morning. The worst that will happen is you’ll drink RedBull all day and look like a zombie - pass it off as a head cold to the real zombies you work with and flick through the embarrassing photos you’re being tagged in as you pretend to take a shit for some peace and quiet. I promise, you’ll remember dancing all night in ten years, not the suspicious way your boss looked at you that morning.
4. If your ass looks big in that, that’s a good thing.
5. You will never be as young as you are this second. Embrace it.
6. Embrace the fact that you’re going to get older. Ask your boyfriend if he will still love you when you’re seventy and your tits are down to your knees. Look forward to this time - seventy year old women are allowed to do pretty much whatever they want, and no-one can stop them. You can carry candy in your bag and not share it with a single soul. You can stay home all day and cross-stitch expletives onto handkerchiefs for your grandchildren and slip them under the table out of sight of the people you raised. You can drink whisky at 10am. Every phase of your life is going to be amazing for different reasons. Embrace that.
7. A lot of people will pretend to love Bukowski. Don’t pretend to love Bukowski if you don’t love Bukowski. It’s overplayed and no-one will mind if you actually like Virginia Andrews instead - the people who do mind are boring.
The vet called today to see how Bubba is doing. She hasn’t really had any noticeable changes. He said cystosis takes about a week to go away, and that she should be mostly back to normal by Monday. If she’s not, I have to take her back to get an Xray/Ultrasound.
I was concerned about the amount of water she should be consuming, because I know she’s not been drinking enough. The vet said that a cat of her size should be drinking about a cup of water a day.
I bought her some more canned food, and decided to be tricksy and mix it with water. She drank it! So I’m hoping I can get her to keep that up.
Anyway. Right now, my cat is my life. Getting her better is my main focus right now, as I’m sure you can guess.
I love her. Keeping fingers crossed!
My sweet girl had promising results to her blood tests. Actually, her blood tests were perfect.
Her urine tests had high amounts of red blood cells however, zero signs of bacteria, crystals or anything else. So, the vet thinks her bladder is very inflamed, causing her pain and blood in her urine.
I took her back to the vet, and she was given fluid subcutaneously, and giving a shot of pain killers, which I will have to give her every 12 hours for the next three days, and special canned food to help keep her hydrated.
The vet seemed to be really happy with the test results and seems to believe she’ll be good as new within a week or so.
I cried (sobbed actually) tears of relief.
She’s already come for snuggles, and purrs and given kisses since I brought her home from the vets.
I’m hoping she’ll start feeling better really soon.
Special thanks to Eva and Uzi for all their <3.
Crazy cat people of the world UNITE.